I just got off the phone with a friend who was calling me from 2000 miles away just because, apparently, I am "good at calming [her] down." I get this a lot. I have several friends who I only met because they were having a bad day and we made a connection while they were feeling down.
My personality is just reassuring for some I guess, but this last conversation got me thinking: what helps me feel better? I can't recall very many conversations with another person where the words they said or the way they said them made my problems feel smaller or my tasks more manageable. Most of the time when I have something in my life that is upsetting me or making me feel less than okay it just seems to evaporate after a few hours without me noticing.
What makes me feel better? Am i missing the part of the brain that yearns for outside reassurance or support? Do i even need it? A lot of the time my strongest emotional responses to things, (especially angry or mournful ones), are brought about through someone else's struggles or issues. I would describe myself as an emotional sponge. I feel the most emotional when I'm sharing someone else's feelings.
I mean, this is so severe with me that I hate to watch dramatic movies when other people are around. In a movie like the 7th Harry Potter movie, all of the strongest human emotions are played up and enhanced in an attempt to reach the viewers on a personal level. I have the strongest emotional reactions to movies, (crying, laughing, immersion in a character), out of anyone I have ever met. Movies are like hyper condensed emotion fests and my brain can't tell the difference between watching a movie character loose a loved one and a real person loose someone and it reacts just as powerfully. I'm a huge crier because of this and I hate it, hence I don't watch movies with people much.
Am I defective? Why do my own problems usually roll of me while others upsets leave me feeling blue and hurt? Even when i do feel the sting of my own issues, no level of supportive conversation with a friend or number of hugs really changes much. I usually just wake up the next morning feeling pretty much nothing and go on with my day like nothings wrong. I don't feel stressed or scared for myself on an emotional level for very long: i tend to just recognize that something should be scary or stressful and make them a priority for the day.
I dunno. None of this makes any sense i bet, not even to me: but I thought writing it down would help me get it better... no such luck.
